We all like to jerk it - it's human nature! But did you know there's more than one place to jerk it? The great thing about jerking is you can do it ANYWHERE! So get out of your attic and check out these chill other places in which you can pull your plonker off.
1. Basement
It's nice and dark down there. Sensual. Bring some tissues.
2. Anywhere
You can jerk it pretty much anywhere.
3. Kitchen
Make sure the parents are out. Otherwise things could get a little... embarrassing. AHEM.
4. You can jerk it anywhere
You can literally jerk it anywhere you want. Get it through your skull.
5. The toilet of a plane
We have liftoff! This is your captain speaking, we are now cruising at jerking altitude.
6. The toilet of a train
Choo choo! Blow off a little steam and blow your load in the cubicle of carriage D while a lovely old lady with a bladder infection knocks on the door.
7. In front of your dog
Fido just won't go away. He looks kind of interested. Where's the peanut butter?
8. Be creative
Jerking it's about breaking the rules. Drop the little man on a random street on google maps, then head over there and jerk it hard!
9. The living room
Classic.
10. KFC
They have good gravy there. Steven likes it.
11. There's no conceivable point of space in the infinitely expanding universe in which you cannot jerk it
Get the picture kid?
The sky's the limit when it comes to beating your meat. Try somewhere new next time you're feeling randy, but stay safe. Get jerkin'!
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